photo ©Louise Jolley
It was an honour and privilege to be been asked by my dear friend and organiser of Conscious Living Events, Claire Quartel, to host the evening in Bournemouth there on the 24 August 2015 with Robert Holden Ph.D, as she was unable to be there after the recent passing of her dear mother. I’d like to share with you some of the content of the high-vibed evening, because this is too valuable an experience not to share.
Before Robert commenced his talk to the large assembled group, he spent time with each of the Conscious Living Events crew and connected with us in an easily accessible and relevant manner; we each felt truly ‘met’ by him.
By the time he took to the front of house, I was just wanting to get my welcome introduction over so he could continue to share stories and wisdom around the subject of ‘Life Loves You’, the title of his new book, co-authored with Hay House supremo Louise Hay. I realise in hindsight that the words I had prepared to say about his greatness were taken over by practicalities and the newness at my role of standing up in front of large audiences’. I had it all written to say how he is a leading Positive Psychologist and top Hay House author, has appeared on Oprah and Good Morning America as well as being part of two BBC documentaries: ‘The Happiness Formula’. He has his own radio show on Hay House called “Shift Happens” and helps so many of us to access a depth of compassionate personal understanding, giving positive practical ways to consider in order to move forward with one’s own self-relationship. He is also a parent to two beautiful young children with his gorgeous wife Holly.
I did say how his work has helped me develop personally from a heart centred ‘coming home’ kinda place and that is why we are all gathered here this evening, for more of that type of exploration, so really I was wanting him to get going and me to get off!!
Robert began by gathering us together in a beautiful meditation/prayer to pay our collective respects to Claire, her dear Mother and family, which instantly connected everyone there and included Claire, who had so wonderfully organised this evening, despite her very recent bereavement. The process of pouring our love towards her, opened our hearts to ourselves and to those who are struggling with difficulties. He reminded us that around the world there are people praying for us right now, those who wish for a better life for everyone and humanity. “Back at them” I say, “let’s roll the love wave in a continuous loop of light.”
After that remarkable start, Robert asked us all to stand up, move around the room and randomly ask people we didn’t know how life was loving us right now, which nicely broke down any embarrassment barriers and got us all being sociable and sharing easily. He then invited us to sit down again and introduced us to the concept of his new book ‘Life Loves You’ and how he got to co-write it with Louise Hay. He told us how he met Louise back stage at an ‘I Can Do It’ event in Las Vegas, where he was poised to go on and speak. She asked him if she could do his stage make up! This was a great lightening thought for us in the audience and Robert’s natural humour began to pervade the proceedings, as well as his warm wisdom. He continued to relay the tale that after Louise had completed his ‘maquillage’, she looked at him, smiled and said; “Life loves you”. This has been one of her signature sayings for many a year and it’s simply stunning in its efficiency to appeal to the core of one as both a question and a definitive. He continued by offering us this as a line of personal enquiry, suggesting that if you meditate on how life does love you, how would this make you feel? He asked us to close our eyes while he repeated the same phrase; “What would you be doing if life really loved you?” My initial response was ‘Get out of the way and play!’ What’s yours I wonder?
After that, we were in. Getting the love on a whole new level. That the universe is one massive benevolent manifester of the good stuff, and with a range in the audience of seasoned self-developers across to relative newbies – this statement “Life Loves You” is a great leveller and reminder that there is always more to learn by true experience in the moment, as an individual, and in a heartening collective.
Just before the break, Robert continued unfolding more wisdom through story and admitted to being fallible himself by including the thought processes that sometimes occur when he can’t find his mobile phone for instance – often blaming his daughter, who he had showed us earlier posing happily in numerous selfies on his phone as an example of when the mirror/camera is a fun reflection not an embarrassment (all part of the powerful Mirror Process he offers with Louise). I love how Robert instantly brings us back into commune with the recognisable mundane world of the 10,000 things, and so we got onto the tricky subjects of judgement, blame and responsibility. To not take others judgements personally, as what they say and do is only a projection of their own reality, and allow a benignly indifferent attitude to any opinions others have of you, helps to diffuse a dysfunctional response.
After a break, where Robert signed copies of “Life Loves You” and met with many people, we re-assembled back into the subject of independence. Robert continued along the line of enquiry that looks at how one of our biggest blocks to succeeding in love and life is by being too independent, helpful though that is at times. This concept flags up old perimeters of social positioning where it can be perceived as a weakness to surrender and ask for help and assistance. This false pride that insists “I don’t need anyone to help me” is an attempt to cover up neediness and a symptom of a dysfunctional independence. Well, that one stung as well as it developed a concept Robert had made me aware of from a previous talk he had done for Conscious Living Events a while ago, mentioning that no one who is successful has made it on their own, it is a myth to think you can do everything all by yourself. Anyone who succeeds is supported. We need to allow ourselves to receive support just as we are more than happy to offer it. So this is something to be aware of, an old, no longer relevant pattern of automatic independent response, can be thanked for once being useful but allowed to be replaced by a new receptive one that comes in to play; to just let yourself “accept the doughnut” as Amanda Palmer, author of ‘The Art of Asking’ implores us to do. All good in theory, but how to put it into practice? Practice…!
This got me to thinking that although I recognize my independency – where would I be without my amazing friend network who, between them all, have found me warm, cosy, cat accompanied and sometimes luxurious homes to stay in over the last year, soo much love, thank you all x This was after I had dared to jump out of a permanent home situation for various reasons, and was caught initially by a dear friend who could help at the time, and so it continued through the webwork of friends, who got wise to my cat sitting abilities. I can be independent in driving from home to home and be responsible for my personal needs, but as part of a growing conscious community I have been practicing for the year by welcoming new places to stay, becoming able to receive the gift of a home, stability, which then enables me to give to the community, immediate, global and family. Our varied gifts are shared all round with gratitude and grace and that all inviting win-win-win situation. I had found myself proudly self-describing in the past how I was fiercely independent, so I can see, feel and ultra-sense the pattern is beginning to shift, let the shift happen, let the process work, with a smile of chi and a huge dashing of more “Life Loves Me” as it does you too, and no one is immune from this deal, no ‘special guilt’ permitted!
I gained a perspective on an abundance that was bigger than the duality of the Tao. That the benevolent uni/multi-verse wants to shower us with gifts is a norm that Robert is dedicated to help us unravel individually, and as a conscious co-creative collective. He speaks and presents in an easy going, unaffected and uncomplicated manner, making the depth and breadth of his compassionate wisdom easier for audiences to assimilate. He invites us all to enter into a “responsible self enquiry” along the life-topics that he introduces so deftly, as part of our ongoing personal quest for understanding why, what, how, where and when we are doing our do, here, there and all over everywhere!
Realign, and realise that Life Loves You.
Try it out as a mantra.
Life Loves Me obviously!
Let’s see what happens…
Thank you Claire Quartel for making all this insight possible for us here in Bournemouth….
And thank you for reading – I’d love to know if and how this resonates with you, do leave a comment below..
And a massive THANK YOU to our amazing CLE crew! Zaza, Jolie, Sandy and Maz – Life gave us each other that night, team on!
Love all the Way x x x x
Check out the burgeoning EVENTS listing here – Sika is next on the 19 September
Conscious Living Events
Robert Holden can be reached via
Click here to go to more information about the book
Life Loves You – Robert Holden
photo ©Louise Jolley